Prose 15 - YouR unSeeN BeaUTy

It feels so hot, warm and cold I could say when I saw you for the first time. I can never stop an addiction to you, my changeling heart. Thinking about you is a rattle option for me, to keep you alive in my inexorably running vein. Those flaxen hair of you, makes me yearn in those hard time that I had… alone.  Your eyes tell me a lip, your hair flares me, your cheeks fortes me, your splendiferous words for certain flows me on. Cite me, kiss me, write me in the middle of night, we drunk with our past and we laughed upon the star wide hut. It was so tasteless when you are not around. I was drowning in your love, the one that is greater than mine. Living so fragile, I thought I was so strong to beat that harmless shadow of you. Beyond your forgoes gravity, I would live and I would heed… those hiss of love that you ever had for me.  So long that I could have you as mine, but my solemn heart says no… no matter how hard this shell of me wanting you, I can never have you be mine. I gap those spaces, between you and my curtains in yearning your halo by my side. It was cold and I shelter you with my warm sheet ever. I need you nothing more than I could have said except I love you.

Some thoughts : The truly Asia - Malaysia

 Namely business, investment, tourism, global mixture, holistic peace and absolutely free from blind’s man bogus and dictator rule are what make Malaysia to be called as a true purport land of peace and harmony. Malaysia places Kuala Lumpur as the main gate of Malaysia. Kuala Lumpur or City of Mud is completely have alleged with the meaning of rattling developed country in the eyes of the world. Its wave allures through poles apart of races, religions and cultures. Its beaches sway the perfume of the white sands and its blue lining ocean that drives strangers to dive into the nature habitants. 

Malaysia is so exotically in introducing the various food and cuisine from different races. It’s really arduous from anything that we could have in US, Middle East and other Asian countries. Almost every world food and beverages could be found here. Nonetheless everyone has the chance to taste a food out of their culture; when it is phenomenal to see Malay eating Yong Tau Foo, Chinese eating Roti Canai and Indian eating Nasi Lemak. Perhaps some of the Malaysian prefers Arab and Turkish cuisine because they are healthy and low in carbohydrate. Most Malaysian eats everything to show that we are gentle in accepting all types of exotic dishes from all around the world, literally.

Malaysia globalized itself through the miraculous English language that has influenced lots of Malaysian mind. It spreads the wing of this global language through the TV station, mass media and even the discourse in the social virtualized bazaar : facebook and blog (Dr. Haja, IIUM). If English were not to be existed here, Malaysia would not be survived ONLY with the noble mother tongue. It is not about forgetting the heritage of Bahasa Melayu (Prof. Quayum, IIUM), it is about mastering English language to bring up the Malaysian heritage to the sight of the world. 

That is what I can recall from Tun Mahathir about his explanation to some minor groups. There are many speculations about the English subject to be introduced as a major subject in most of the school in Malaysia. It is hoped that those minor groups, could see how Malaysia stands in the eyes of the world right now, which has created the gate of social and political meet. Proof ? We can witness an event where recently, Hillary Clinton took her step to Malaysia and was amazed by what has Malaysia achieved till now. It is in English and would you mind to speak and to master only your mother tongue? Definitely no. 

Poll and elections in selecting best man in town certainly is vital in finding a man to blame if something goes wrong, sweet talker waiting for the chance to be elected and that’s it. But words never can be uttered by action promises. It is rather hilarious that to put these men at their own pace than to meet the people who inked their name on an inane paper. For the time being, no big hit in the society except some extremist cult, ‘freestyle’ group and yes they are evolving towards a rather formal deceasing. Another big hit will be like the political games between government and opposition in making the world is better place to live for Malaysian. 

Beyond my inexplicable thought, there is a hidden agenda why does the opposition emerge to fight against the current government; this is what I have in mind, the right to express their thought and giving their own critics and a new idea to shape a region. Well, perhaps government has been denoted as an obsolete way of system in running a country since the rule of the King’s family. And human mind changes years over years, through lots of exposure and they need to rejuvenate the structure. 

Perhaps, most perceive that the government is the original supreme whereas the opposition in most of the country are said to be the bad reformer. Well, I have few words to say to the both government and opposition party,:"Please, for  the God sake, put us in your top list than your override ridicule and dirty political minds wars!" 

But, above beyond missing fact on Malaysia, nothing would rather hurt a true Malaysian than a news of bonkers fireworks in a stadium, 1Malaysia symbol manic banning, the crass reformation over English in Science & Math and of course the wide spread wikileaks' viruses. Shouldn't we be so thankful to live in a such peaceful country that is none like others (that ever exist in the world)? Yes, we should.

Missing fact about Malaysia is not at its end, it is merely the beginning of the perfect conjugation in transforming the whole nation towards something better – 1Malaysia’s dictum.     

ainn

Prose 14 - LOvE UndoNE

I had love and I held love that you kept for me in those brevity promises... for every moment of my life and for so long that time would haunt my seconds. Its howling in the shadow of my viscus and hallowing my lone night stand... filled with mist and hazel cloud. My love for you indeed is no everglades, no heavenly to last its halo. I could see my tasteless fear, my regrets in vowing my love to you, having tearless confession to submit myself unto your oath of passion chivalry. I can't be loving you more because of Him. You have recited my love in those fluent night of my reading ail of hinder. Shattered and shun like never before... flings me into the wide sky chest and drown me in your breathless hope forces. Like a battered orioles, shining my sight into a freedom wealth of love that I had with you, in one of those days. Laugh and smile like we never did, you are indeed one in a million. Still, I couldn't find the love that I want in your shovelful eyes. I know, and always believe that you need mine as I do, but none of our souls fit each inch of them, they are thoughtless and indeed way missing. When the greatest love speaks, there is nothing we can bargain, through your priceless love and my aflame vitiate desire. Living in your gravity, with all those absurd dreams that wanting us in the bed of red and violet roses by the Russian lunette, I would want you back in my fearless shoulders and fragile strength of my arms. Like a dry desert, I would say, I missed the way we have our delicate and bizarre moments, with you and me, raising upon each other oath to be wanted in this voluptuous and rapture lives. My heart, is like an easy root that can't be cracked... grouching in those lucid sights of your shallow desire upon me. With those lines murmured in my head lanes ... "I lost myself deep in your eyes, all over me now... it is clear that your curtains will close. But if your heart is cold, my sheets are warm, I will shelter you through the storm, I will shelter you, all through the storm..." Hoping these would keep me dance between your zealous zephyr sounds and your boldless crude into my ferrous mind, everyday... But He, my love, will always comes first before our love.

Prose 13 - HisS of LoVe

 It lives within me, so many types of it, from A to Z I could say, I love the way I am having it. No one can stop me from having different perspectives on love. Love once was a mist that abloom by the heat of emotions that I seldom buried along my crocheted jovial heart. It runs all over me, like a river that flows inexorably form different directions, and ends up to the white pan ocean (my breath). I wish I could feel the love, that needs reaction from two souls, between me and you. But tears, regrets and sorry would pay for everything that love upfront with. 
I wonder how would love could make me detach me from loving God more, sure it would be an inane mind would ever do it erratically. Its not an option, but love will make me to wait the breeze of someone that I love, billion miles away, by the lunette, rochetted me along the unbreakable hiss through the silent night. I would lay on my bed, thinking about you, someone that won't be exist, laid my viscus back on the howling bed, full of violet verbena.

Beautiful love is too good to be true now, except His love. They are exist, but its hiding, like a paramour within a vein of all hunting souls. Those lucid eyes, beyond my igniting head, I wish it could abloom before the sunrise, upon the fortress. You are named love, everlastingly whisper unto me, for every moment that merge my eyes into your sight. I swear by the cloud that brought you in every atom of you, killing me flawless in those frameless shadow. If I had you, I would wall you from the mediocre and ail that prevails your lame beats like a black rose underneath my shoreless pillow. I do miss you, though I never had you. I felt so nervous each time you struck me within my adrenaline, like an ocean that freeze my sight. Whispering unto me with those shelter words and shattered woods, embrace me into a lustrous moment of you and me.

Dear love, You make me live in a glassy world where I need you by my side, shelter me all through the debauchee stormy night. You make me listen to those beads of bits in every sensational and melodious of those tones in such glossy sounds of your ceaseless buoyant rain drops. The bona fide in you, indeed are standing right beside my envious, jealousy, anguish, hunger, passion, colorless emotions to aflame my soarless thought.

Prose 12 - OvEr siNs

Over dreams, over the fetid view of the solemn night of my life, lingers in those ugly and adorless deeds. Wishing the demesne moon and celestial stars guide and helm me through Your love, the everlasting and the full of wisdom. In this shallow tarnishing mind of me, I stood by the lunette waiting for the impossible, in-dex through my shadow of raging love with the morning dews grow in the shed of rain. Over the clouds, over the sky that brought me to meet You, once upon of time... totally has driven me into the tenderloin streams of Your merciful. With those painting and frameless picture of my life and the rest, You will always be in those empty lane, filling up those painful and suffocated viscus of my vision about this roaming sorbet life. So many sins, so many flaws that I have engaged and soars along my ceaseless parts, but You are always there, never giving up Your mercy and forgiveness unto my windswept and barren soul. In those vessel of my full sins, You show me how silly ego me and how ignorance I was with those unstoppable beautiful messages of You, You have indeed show me love with grateful dungeon and passion with graceful desire. I am so weak that my soul yearns for Your gallant guidance, I am so breathless that my heart years for Your breathing space. You are my God, my soul's friend and my buoyant wisdom. The one that I could not see but I believe that You see us in every frame, every second, every thing about us. You grant me a soul that realizes the beautiful and wondrous of You, and how You could beat all the prettiest thing that You have created in this life. Nothing in this idyllic world would mirror and wall You, the greatest Lord of my soul. Nothing in this world would gives You harm, indeed nothing is impossible for You... changing the fire to coldness for Your messenger, blowing a spirit into the virgin Maryam, moving the cloud to place the mosque dome. SubhanAllah, You are the greatest of all.

Ruled wisdom on His name over the planned life...

Living in those dream, with hope and wish to nurture and sought all the knowledge degrees of the world, does not stop us from being an expressive clover of the life itself, flying like a free orions, reaching the wide sky, merely hope that God will dictate and answer all of our prayers. Its true, we do have those microbe sensibility to have engage with people out there and nevertheless to achieve the plan that we have really set it out in the blueprint. But who knows that He is going to change it in a way that seemingly taking the control of what we use to thought - our held future...?

He is great, and we are not perfect sometimes, we used to blame Him for the failure of reciting our own written destiny, but still, He forgives everything... went to the Chinese kindergarten as my first step in stranger's world and beginning to live with it by the age of 16. and I was given by Him to explore more about my native's life by the age of 17 till now.  Everything was decided by Him, totally. From the ignorance to a muslim girl. We may be doing something for someone (by good reason), or being a hypocrite in doing something good. but I believe that if we force ourselves to do something good FOR the sake of Him, strongly insyAllah, every moves and every good deeds that we used to hypocritized with will be blessed by Allah.

It is undeniable to say that every soul has a dream, that is the wish to attain so much continuous enlightenments just to keep us stay on the track, no matter how many times we used to fall.

Have a faith on Him, that is the real order of this life. We were created by Him with full of knowledge and soul that could see the vision of good and evil... having those five pillars of Islam, six pillars of Iman, the Quran as the book of Allah's speech and the sunnah as the guidance for human life through the messenger of Allah, our beloved Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. (P.b.u.h) planted in our soul, He is indeed the most merciful and benevolence.

Every decision that I have made, merely hope that He will fully blessed it. Even when I have to retard and distort the everdreamed interviews and wholly friends for the wisdom of Allah. He is great isn't it? the one that put my soul at a pace in describing his decision to be the best among the best... really have put me into a well-prepared fighter. 

Thank you Allah... indeed we are depending on you and lay our only trust at you.

As fOr NoW - DeC 14

My real status for right now... a full time writer at home, someone who has rejected few offers (I can say), and absolutely jobless for the time being. And I really have those gratitude mists around me, to thank my friends that always giving me supports and endless words of motivation nonetheless spreading some infoS about job vacancies !!! May Allah bless you all... I have totally imbibes all those words with an open-sweet heart. 

I would describe my life now as a knight who is writing about the chivalry, reciting it over the violet lunette in my dream. I am definitely placing my self beneath the sphere of fearless state that I am now, which whatever it takes, I will fight over the dawn to seize the moon back to its sky. Those joys and en-lusted moments, will be always spelled through my mind with the merging words of "do not ever give up", and my heart and soul nevertheless grows stronger by it's calling and yearn it so bad to be last longer. Such an effing moment, I could never wish to release those sensational zephyr wynd of my raising success endeavor... every piece of my writing.

I can't really express what I felt in the FBook, because, everybody is seeing it through with the line of unsolved emotion, but in this blog, it evolves illegally with true motion. Slowly I have developed the skill and style of writing, using those pieces of letters and make them dwell into a broad mat of creative writing, merely in this blog of mine. So much thing to say but only one thing that always struck my mind... A job for my life.

What job is really waiting for me outhere? well, I believe that it will be something that I rare to think of, probably something that is beyond my thought. Those unstoppable ceaseless thought of me will be haunting me for a good reason so that I won't make my life like those dying roses with a dreadful dream.